


Rejection

by rainandhotchocolate



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Post-Hogwarts, Romance, Sirius Being an Idiot, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:35:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21565420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainandhotchocolate/pseuds/rainandhotchocolate
Summary: Sirius accidentally makes like hell for Y/N in Seventh year at Hogwarts. But what happens when they bump into each other a few years later?
Relationships: Sirius Black/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 106





	Rejection

It was like a large, human shaped slap in the face, that had annoyingly soft black curls that trailed over his face. Sirius Black seemed to tower over the bar, eyes looking expectantly at her as he asked again for a whiskey and coke, in a short glass.

“Uh… hello?”

“Yeah, sorry, phased out for a second there,” Y/N pulled out her best hospitality smile and poured out his drink carefully, doing her best to avoid his curious stare.

“Do I know you from somewhere?” He cocked his head to the side, continuing to stare as she busied herself with putting through his cash and finding him change.

“Oh shit, we went to school together!” He said finally, as she attempted to find another customer, groaning internally when she realised it was a Tuesday afternoon and the bar was empty. She finally looked up at him, smiling again, hoping he didn’t see the clenched fists under the bar.

Y/N couldn’t tell if she was happier or insulted that he didn’t remember her. Unfortunately, she hadn’t forgotten him, the feeling of complete and utter embarrassment rushing through every inch of her.

Y/N had had a crush on Sirius for a lifetime, ever since she saw him cheering on James at the Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw match, streamers stuck to almost every part of him, and mostly naked. Not that Sirius would have ever noticed a small mousy Ravenclaw girl who was usually in the library or reading next to the black lake.

She’d tried to get over him, but it was like every time he did something stupid it seemed to make her want him more. When he jumped on the back of James’ broom after the end of a spectacular win against Slytherin she had this lurch of wanting to jump on the back with him.

Then it was seventh year, when the paper every morning brought either another disappearance or suspicious death, and Hogwarts suddenly began to feel like it wasn’t the safest place in England like it had once been. There was something about a life or death situation that started making everyone act a little crazy, from people banging around in broom closets to certain extremists, on both sides, ending up in curious places. The weirdest being floating above the middle of the Black Lake.

Y/N had every single girl in her year banging her over the head with her stupid ongoing crush with Sirius, and she was getting sick of it. Finally, she’d brought up the courage to tell him, better to tell him and know than live without knowledge, one of her friends had said sincerely, puffing out a big breath of smoke whilst she giggled loudly. Being a little high may have been another factor to her sudden decision to find Sirius and proclaim her undying love for him.

So, standing in the staircase outside the Great Hall she found him and told him, in more stuttered, uncomfortable words, exactly that. She’d not exactly expected him to return the feelings, hell she didn’t think he would necessarily recognise her. She didn’t expect him to turn around, grin at James, and then begin to cackle with laughter at her.

“Uh, yes we did,” Y/N nodded slowly, pretending to smile in recognition. Sirius grinned back at her, taking a sip from his drink.

“I’m so sorry, what was your name again?”

“Y/N.”

“Ahh of course! Sirius,” He gave out a hand as if to shake it. Y/N stared at him, trying to hold in the increasing frustration she was getting from him being so nice to her.

“Yes, enjoy your drink,” Y/N plastered on the smile again and turned away, pretending to find some glasses to shine and waiting until she’d heard him walk away, thankful for him to have left her alone.

Sirius walked away slowly, heading back towards the table where James and Remus were sitting and chatting in hushed voices.

“Hey, we went to school with the bartender,” He sat down, pointing at the brown-haired girl avidly cleaning wine glasses at the corner of the bar.

The two boys looked at each other and then back to Sirius, James’ eyebrows raised and Remus smirking slightly.

“What?” Sirius hated when they did this, act like they had some secret language between them.

“You really don’t remember her?”

“No! Should I?”

“I mean, probably,” Remus gave a short laugh, continuing to be vague. Sirius almost growled at him but instead tried rack his brains as to when he would have met her before.

“That’s Y/N man, remember seventh year? That Ravenclaw girl who cornered you before dinner with all her friends giggling behind her?” James gave him a grimace, waiting for Sirius to figure out who he was talking about. And then it hit him, the girl he’d laughed at as she said she liked him.

“Oh, Merlin’s Beard,” Sirius held his hands in his head and knocked it against the table. He wondered a little why she hadn’t thrown a drink on him, “I can’t believe I just asked what her name was.”

“You are a complete idiot,” Remus laughed loudly at him, as he lifted his head from his arms and looked incredibly uncomfortable.

“I’d thought she was joking, I thought James had put her on me because of Lily and I made him think that we’d hooked up in fifth year.”

“What! As if that’s how I would have retaliated,” James looked affronted, shaking his head, “I’m still waiting for the perfect revenge for that heart attack.”

“I actually want to die in my seat right here,” Sirius felt like his stomach was turning over and over, making himself feel nauseous.

“You could go apologise…” James continued, smirking at his very uncomfortable expression. Sirius felt like he had absolutely no idea what to do, he’d literally just made small talk with the girl he’d told was a terrible actor and should shove off.

“I really don’t think an apology would do much, I was horrible,” Sirius groaned, fingering the glass of whiskey and coke.

“Maybe we should just leave her alone, I doubt doing anything would help something that happened 3 years ago,” Remus finished off his beer, nodding at the exit. Sirius said nothing, continuing to play with the glass and overthink. There had to be something he could do, anything that would make what he did better. She couldn’t just go around thinking he was an asshole for the rest of her life.

“You can’t get everyone to like you,” James kicked him from under the table, breaking him from his stupor.

“I don’t need everyone to like me,” He grumbled in response, narrowing his eyes at the two boys who were now grinning at him.

“Look, you were an idiot, you need to accept it and move on,” Remus stood up, swinging his brown leather bag over his shoulder.

“Mmmmk” Sirius didn’t look at him, but followed his lead and stood up, finishing his drink quickly and picking up his jacket. They moved quickly out of the bar, James and Remus obviously wanting to avoid Y/N’s eyes. Sirius trailed behind them, tracking her out of the corner of his eyes whilst she continued to busy herself behind the bar. He couldn’t help but think that she was deliberately avoiding him. Stop being so self-important, he cursed himself, slowing down as they reached the door.

“Fuck,” He swore under his breath, knowing this was probably a very stupid idea, and turned on his heel to move back towards the bar and where Y/N was standing, awkwardly rubbing the counter over and over again.

“Hey look, Y/N, when do you finish?” Sirius leaned over the bar slightly to get her attention. Y/N took the longest possible time to meet his eyes, not bothering to give him the fake smile this time around. She was sure that James and Remus had reminded him of their encounter, especially since she did know Remus from her days spent in the library.

She paused momentarily debating whether she should actually tell him, part of her was wondering why on earth he wanted to know when she finished work.

“She finishes at 5,” her manager had snuck up behind her and elbowed her in the ribs, giving her a wink as he passed. Y/N pursed her lips, glaring at his back as he walked away, clearly proud of himself.

“Look, I know you probably don’t want to see me like ever again, but let me just buy you a drink and apologise,” He looked at her earnestly, his grey eyes piercing hers, “Please, just 10 minutes and then you can just take the free drinks and go.”

Y/N grumbled a little, feeling herself panic a little at the idea of having to be alone with him, 10 minutes or less.

“I promise, it will mostly be me grovelling.”

“I, uh… fine ok, but if you’re not here by 5 on the dot I’m heading home,” Y/N crossed her arms, hoping she looked remotely tough and not like her heart was beating extremely hard in her chest.

“That’s completely fair, I will see you then,” He gave her a smile and ran back over to James and Remus who were glaring darkly at him, James giving him a light slap on the back of his head and pushing him out the door.

5PM

Her manager had let her off at 5pm on the dot, making sure she didn’t make more work for herself so she wouldn’t be waiting outside for Sirius. She chewed on her nails, even though they were mostly already cut down to the skin, counting down the seconds until it reached 5:01 so that she could have the excuse to scurry off home for the evening.

Unfortunately, she saw the figure of a tall man rushing across the street waving at her, whilst trying to avoid oncoming traffic.

“Y/N!” He called out, shaking out his coat from the rain as he ran underneath the cover of the bars’ entrance, “Hey sorry, I tried to wait out the rain but I didn’t have much luck clearly.”

He gave a laugh, obviously trying to make casual conversation with her, but Y/N didn’t quite feel like making the biggest effort to make him feel better about talking to her.

“No worries.”

“Right, um I presumed you don’t want to drink where you work, there’s a pub down the road from here that’s nice,” Sirius looked incredibly awkward and Y/N couldn’t help but enjoy feeling like he might feel a smidgeon of the embarrassment she endured for the last 5 months of seventh year with people jeering at her in corridors, miming her ridiculous spouting of love.

“Yeah that’s fine,” She nodded at him to lead the way. They walked in silence, collars up to avoid the cold wind that had begun to whip through the streets of London. Sirius pushed the door open to the pub and ushered her in to get out of the cold, following her in.

There was a rush of warm air that immediately made her feel perfectly dry, and made her realise they were in a wizards pub. It was incredibly busy, with a mixture of older and younger wizards and witches chatting loudly, little goblets of warm butterbeer floating above the crowds and being sent to different tables as they ordered. Y/N had heard about this place, a lot of her friends met up here after work at the Ministry or St Mungo’s, but Y/N had so far avoided it, the busyness of it all making her wholly overwhelmed.

And anyway, she’d recently charmed the cash register at her own bar to convert galleons to pounds and vice versa so she could meet her friends there after work instead. She was regretting that at this exact moment, however, wondering if it was the sign she’d placed above the entrance that could only be seen by wizards that had lured the marauders into the bar in the first place.

As if he could sense her discomfort Sirius ushered Y/N up the stairs and towards the smaller room on top of the pub’s main floor where it was quieter.

“Sorry, I forgot that it was peak time for 9-5ers,” He gestured to a booth in the corner of the room, and pulled out a chair for her to sit down in. Whilst all these actions seemed gentlemanly, she couldn’t help but feel suspicious of him being so kind, what was his angle?

“So I’m guessing you don’t work an office job?” Y/N attempted to make conversation, as he sat down opposite her, gesturing to a waiter who was waiting at the edge of the room.

“No, I work in hospitality too actually, a muggle pub in Soho,”

“Oh,” Y/N couldn’t seem to hide her surprise quickly enough, but luckily was interrupted by the waiter asking what they’d like to drink.

“Pint of Guinness thanks, what were you after?”

“A white wine is fine.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow at her.

“Are you sure? You can get something a bit more fun; I promise it’s on me regardless.”

“Do you have Hibiki Whiskey?”

“We do, Miss.”

“I’ll have that on the rocks.” The waiter nodded and walked off quickly.

“Good choice,” Sirius smiled at her again and Y/N couldn’t help but wonder if this was his hospitality smile coming through, “So, surprised I work in hospo?”

“Oh I, uh, I mean a little,” Y/N stumbled, hating herself a little for not wanting to offend him, “I guess it’s just cause you and James were top of the year, I think we all expected you to become Aurors.”

“Fair enough, I thought I was going to do that as well,” Y/N thought she saw his grey eyes darken slightly but he was back to his light and happy demeanour in less than a second, “I guess I just figured there are other ways to be helping out wizardkind.”

Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at that, his heroic expression and oddly cryptic words.

“Right.”

The silence between them was very awkward and Sirius shifted uncomfortably in his seat, clearly racking his brain for something else to say.

“So I guess I should really be apologising to you right about now,” He gave a little chuckle, trying to lighten the mood, but continued when Y/N refused to change her blasé expression, “I am really very sorry for how I treated you in school Y/N, I promise I didn’t intend to make fun of you or anything.”

“So, you just accidentally made me a laughingstock for the rest of my final year?” Y/N was surprised to hear the spite in her words but made an effort to keep her expression still and calm. Sirius grimaced, not replying until the waiter, who had brought over their drinks, had sidled away from them.

“I… look I know this sound ridiculous and you have every right to continue thinking I’m a right twat, but I sort of thought that James was playing a prank on me.”

“…What?”

“Well, it started when he superglued my paw- uh feet into my… shoes. I was stuck for a whole day,” Sirius hurried his story when Y/N didn’t laugh. Y/N personally felt proud of herself for not giving him the satisfaction, when she really did want to hear the rest of the story, “Well anyway it escalated to some relationship stuff and I sort of thought James had told you to create the most awkward thing I’d have to deal with…”

“What, dealing with someone else’s feelings?”

“Uh… yes?”

“Isn’t that a bit pathetic?”

“I mean I’m not standing up for myself here, I was a complete idiot, for both, what I did and not being able to handle other’s feelings very well,” He grinned sheepishly at her, taking a large gulp of his Guinness. Was he actually uncomfortable right now? Y/N really couldn’t tell if this was all just an elaborate lie or not, but it would be a pretty shit lie to tell.

“At least that’s something we can agree on.”

“Yeah, so I mean, do you believe me?”

Y/N sighed, so this is what it was, pandering his ego so that he could feel better about himself and forget that he ever did anything so terrible.

“Look I guess so, it would be a pretty terrible lie and I have a feeling you’re not an awful liar given the number of detentions you managed to get out of,” Y/N took a big gulp of the whiskey, savouring the burn that went down her throat.

“So… why are you working in hospitality? Ravenclaw like you would have expected big things as well,” Sirius seemed even more uncomfortable than before. Y/N also want to hit him a little bit, Ravenclaw stereotypes always got her riled up.

“Sirius, I’ve forgiven you, I believe you’re an idiot and didn’t mean to make me feel like shit, what are you still doing here?”

Sirius looked very taken aback, his cheeks flushing a bright red. He pulled his fingers through his hair, letting it fall down across his face and hide his eyes.

“I’m sorry I really didn’t want this to come across like that I just, I guess I wanted to make an effort to actually get to know you. So, I knew who I’d hurt.”

Y/N had no idea how to reply to that. It was annoyingly pragmatic, wanting to know who you’d hurt so they weren’t just a memory but a whole person.

“I totally understand if you want me to leave.”

“No, I get what you’re saying,” you’re an idiot you’re an idiot.

Sirius seemed to relax, leaning back into his chair with his pint held lazily in his hand. Y/N took the chance to put more alcohol in her system and avoid his gaze. She could feel her heartbeat increasing ever so slightly every time he looked at her and wished there was an easy spell to tell your body to shut it.

“So, was there a reason you decided to work at a bar?”

“Oh, well I originally wanted to work as a healer, but I guess I wanted to take a break from studying and all that, you know,” And she’d had to watch her parents slowly fade away after death eaters had found them in their holiday home two summers ago.

“Yeah I get that, that was kind of how I felt as well.”

They continued to chat for the better part of an hour, Sirius keeping his promise to cover the bill and said he would walk her home given that it was the middle of winter and the sun had long since gone down. They made small talk throughout the short walk over to her apartment building, both ignoring the fact that she probably could have apparated home much quicker.

“So, this is me,” Y/N nodded towards her apartment building which was a very ugly brown colour and regularly had fire alarms go off.

“Right of course, so uh thanks for letting me buy you a drink, and feed my ego,” Sirius smiled at her, putting out his hand for Y/N to shake.

“Yeah no worries, thanks for the expensive whiskey I guess,” She shook it and smiled back at her, pushing down the thought that had been plaguing her since she met him after work you idiot you idiot.

“And, well I wanted to say sorry again. If I could go back and curse everyone who was a prat to you in Seventh year I really would.”

“Well I mean they still exist.”

“Well then, my week will be spent hunting them down and making them spew slugs,” Sirius grinned, stepping back and towards the street corner, “I’ll see you around, I’m sure.”

“Yep,” Y/N gave him a last awkward nod and turned around to unlock her door. Before she could stop herself, she flicked her eyes towards the corner to see if he was still there, but he’d disappeared.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N was surprised that Sirius had also kept his promise to see her around, making sure to stop by the bar semi-regularly and stopping to chat, and always left a tip. In fact, it had slowly become a regular occurrence for Sirius to stop in after his own shifts at work or on a Sunday afternoon when he knew she worked and had time to chat if he sat up at the bar.

“Waiting for your boy,” Her manager had winked at her the previous Sunday, obviously noticing Y/N’s incessant habit of checking the door every few minutes even though she knew he worked late on Saturdays and wasn’t usually up until 12.

“He’s not my boy, he’s just a friend,” Y/N had replied weakly, looking quickly away from the door and smiling at another customer who had leaned over the bar to get her attention.

However, one day he’d stopped coming. At first, Y/N had thought perhaps he’d just decided not to come, but after a whole week Y/N had begun to think otherwise.

She pushed him from her mind, but couldn’t help glancing over at the door subconsciously every so often as if he was going to wander through the door with a wide grin and a ridiculously wild story of where he’d been all week. Y/N hated it but she’d really become accustomed to his visits, enjoying chatting to him about work, his friends, her friends, the escapades himself and the boys got up to when he had a day off.

Stop getting sucked into boys being prats she scolded herself for wondering about him again when she walked home after work that night, huffing and speeding up, enjoying the feeling of the cool air whipping her face.

“Y/N?” A voice called out to her in the dark. Y/N immediately whipped out her wand, turning to the steps leading to her apartment where the voice had come from. Lumos she thought, her wand shining onto the top step, revealing a figure hunched over and leaning on the marble pillars that sat beside the door.

“Merlin’s beard, Sirius?” Y/N stood momentarily in shock before rushing over to him, getting rid of the light on her wand in case any of her neighbours came around the corner, “What are you doing?”

“I -uh, may have done something a little bit stupid,” He grimaced, pulling open his coat and revealing what looked like a huge gash across his chest.

“What on earth is that! Why didn’t you go to St Mungo’s?” She shook her head at him but leaned down and helped him up, all the same, leading him into her apartment building and towards her home.

She huffed, trying to hold him up whilst she unlocked the door, nearly falling over as she pushed him through the door and onto the nearest couch, closing the door with her foot.

“Well, what I was doing wasn’t exactly legal…” He groaned as he sat down again, pressing a hand onto his injury and trying to straighten his body so it wasn’t contorted.

“Why am I not surprised,” Y/N huffed, busying herself in the kitchen, grabbing a mixture of potion ingredients she’d kept around since she’d attempted to go through the healer training.

“I’m sorry to just turn up like this, I just remembered you know a bit about dark injuries and the boys didn’t exactly know where I was going and fuck” He groaned louder this time, his head banging back into the top of the couch.

“Take off your coat and shirt, if anything the material is going to be making it sting more than necessary,” Y/N placed a heap of magical ingredients and a small cauldron onto the sitting room table, placing a mixture into it and setting it alight. She couldn’t help but glance up every few moments as he winced, pulling off his clothes to reveal his tanned and annoyingly muscular chest. The gash also looked much much worse now that there was nothing covering it, a deep black line that seemed to have burnt a hole so deep she could see his pink flesh in the middle.

“You know you’re going to have to tell me what you did so I can actually do something you help you,” Y/N grabbed some disinfectant and began dabbing the wound softly, kneeling on the carpet in front of him. He didn’t reply, just wincing at her touch as she made her way along his chest, careful to only press as hard as needed. She definitely didn’t need her neighbours hearing someone screaming from her lounge, especially when she already suspected they thought she was a little odd.

“Sirius,” Y/N murmured again, softer this team, sitting back on her heels when she’d finished disinfecting the wound and looking up at him.

“Look, I just… I just need something to help it heal ok? I’ll be out of your hair in no time,” He replied finally, through gritted teeth.

“Don’t be stupid, Black, I couldn’t give a rats ass what you were up to ok? I’m not going to go about sharing it with the world, but you know as good as anyone that this is obviously dark magic and dark magic always needs something extra to get the healing process started. Unless you want that to eat right through your chest?”

Y/N gave him a small smile and he sighed loudly, wincing at the effect it had on his chest.

“Yeah right ok,” He grumbled but sat up a little, letting her get a better look at it, “I’d heard of some death eater activity on the outskirts of Oxford, from Bellatrix Lestrange – not sure if you remember her from school? She was the Slytherin with black hair and bitchy demeanour?”

He laughed at himself and then winced again as his lungs pushed out and moved the wound.

“Alright enough with the jokes, what did she do to you then?”

“Well, uh, she and I have a bit of a history of hating each other, and she seemed to think it would be funny to cast the fun ol’ obtusiore nouacula curse on me.”

“Shit, Sirius, you’re lucky she didn’t get to your heart.”

“Yes, lucky man am I,” He tried to smile at her again, slowly slipping lower into the chair. Y/N got him to stand up again, arm around her shoulder and moved him to the couch so he could lie flat.

“Don’t you dare try to get up again, this isn’t something that’s going to heal overnight. I’m going to put a salve on it to stop it from spreading for the minute but it’s going to take me some time to put together the potions that will stop it from spreading and begin to heal the skin,” Y/N started to leaf through some of the books she had grabbed, finding the right pages and making sure she had all the necessary ingredients. Sirius watched her silently, letting his body relax into the soft couch, feeling relief wash over him for the first time in 24 hours.

“Thank you,” He said quietly, reaching over to grab her forearm, making Y/N look up at him. Sirius swore he saw her blush lightly, but she dropped her head quickly before he could give her a proper look.

“You can thank me by not chasing after death eaters by yourself,” She muttered, but was smiling all the same, “I’ll put on the TV.”

With a flick of her hand the small television in the corner had switched on, blasting Bewitched loudly.

“What a classic,” Sirius snorted.

“I just feel so separated from the wizarding world sometimes I need to see what’s going on.”

“This is most definitely not the way to do that.”

“Shut up and let me make potions so you don’t die.”

Sirius put his hands up in defeat, grinning mischievously, and turning back to watch the episode. They sat in silence as Y/N brewed the first potion that would let him at least sleep without pain, and started on the next as Sirius began to drift in and out of sleep. She watched him, leaning into the couch, his eyes closing slowly and opening quickly every few minutes as his body contorted awkwardly.

Y/N got him to sit up slowly, bringing the potion over to him and lifting it to his mouth so that he could sip it slowly. It was clear that he was losing the adrenaline that had got him to her apartment and likely even awake given the intensity of the wound.

“Ok come on, let’s get you into bed so you can actually go to sleep,” Y/N lifted up his arms slowly so that he could start pushing himself up off the couch and help drag himself into her bedroom.

“I can just sleep on the couch you know,” Sirius mumbled into her arm, the weight of his body leant almost entirely against her. Y/N lay him down on her bed, pulling off his shoes and putting a blanket over his legs.

“Shut up, Sirius,” She snorted at him trying to get back up off the bed and barely lifting himself upright, “Look it’s fine, sleep here, I’ll be in the other room. I’ll probably be back in every few hours to clean your chest again so don’t get freaked out if I wake you up, alright?”

“Mmmmhmmm,” He replied into the pillow, his eyes already closed. In a few moments, he was already snoring loudly. Y/N watched him for a moment, his hair moving up and down across his face with every breath. Leave him alone you stalker, she made herself turn around and head back into the living room where the books for the remaining potions were left open. For a curse like this Sirius was going to be downing potions for a week, something which Y/N didn’t quite trust him to do by himself.

Whilst she continued to brew, she wondered if she should be getting in contact with James or someone, someone who might actually be able to help him. Someone who actually knows him.

She set an alarm so that every few hours she could wake him up and feed him some more potion, checking on his chest to see if the dark spots had started to recede from the wound instead of going further in towards the flesh of his lungs. He barely noticed her every time she woke him up, mumbling a little in his sleep.

Sirius didn’t wake up again until about midday, stretching out slowly in the bed. It felt like every muscle in his body was aching, he could feel a dull throbbing in his chest and peered down to see the bandage stuck across where his wound was. He slowly pushed himself upright, looking around the room he’d fallen asleep in, trying to blink the light out of his eyes.

The room was covered in posters of the Holyhead Harpies, the floor covered in clothes and shoes to the point where he could barely see the carpet. He groaned loudly as he got out of bed, sluggishly walking out of the room and toward the living room where he presumed Y/N had made her bed for the night. Unsurprisingly, Y/N was fast asleep on the couch and snoring loudly, one hand still on the table as if she was reaching for some more ingredients as she fell asleep.

He leaned down and tapped Y/N on her shoulder, smiling down at her as she sat up quickly looking around like she had forgotten something, finding his eyes after a few minutes of confusion.

“Oh sorry, you’re awake! I haven’t cooked anything I must have fallen asleep,” She stood up quickly, blinking her eyes quickly as if she was seeing spots.

“Sit down you idiot, I was only waking you up to see if you liked bacon. I can make us some eggs on toast,” Sirius pushed her back down on the couch and looked at her expectantly. Y/N was definitely caught off guard, her brain still riling at the fact that Sirius Black was standing over her, very much shirtless, his hair almost 10x better after sleeping on it which just made her a bit mad.

“So… breakfast?”

“Oh right, yes, yeah I’ll eat whatever. There’s stuff in the fridge I think,” She lay back into the couch, watching him saunter off into the kitchen and start pulling out a bunch of different spices and ingredients across the counter. Y/N couldn’t really remember the last time there was anyone cooking in that kitchen except for the few late-night moments when she’d made very average French toast whilst drunk.

“How are you feeling?” Y/N finally got up to join him, making a pot of coffee and sitting on the countertop sipping slowly.

“Oh, heaps better,” Sirius had begun frying up the bacon and was clearly wincing every time he had to reach for another egg to fry up, “I can be out of your hair after breakfast, promise.”

“And are you planning on telling anyone else what happened?”

“Well, I mean… probably not?” He turned to face her with a bit of a sheepish grin, plating up the fried eggs and bacon onto a large plate Y/N had forgotten she had.

“Well then you’re not going anywhere,” Y/N used her most forceful voice, trying to seem like she was doing this for her own good. Yeah, you’re not forcing him to hang out with you or anything, stalker.

Sirius frowned at her, getting some knives and forks out so they could start on breakfast. He didn’t say anything, making Y/N’s stomach form a knot and regret saying anything ever in her entire life. They dug into the food, sitting side by side on her oversized chairs under the kitchen counter.

Y/N had never been so aware of someone’s body in her life. It felt like every single movement he made beside her made her arm hairs stand on end like she’d been hit with an electric shock.

“You can obviously go though if you need. I more just meant that you know, you should at least tell someone so you can keep taking the potions and like, not die.”

“Yeah look fair,” Sirius barked a laugh, finishing off the last of his eggs, “I’ll stay another day, and I’ll make sure to pay you back for the ingredients.”

Y/N bit her lip, smiling a little uncomfortably.

“Yeah about that, we are actually going to need some more. There’s like 10 different potions you’ll need to avoid permanent damage to your lungs.”

“Well we can take a trip to Diagon Alley this afternoon, I wouldn’t mind picking up some fun curse books myself,” Sirius winked at her and grabbed her plate to wash up.

“Sit down, you fool, you need to rest,” Y/N grabbed the plates from out of his hands and nodded towards the couch.

“Alright, alright,” He collapsed onto the couch groaning loudly and curling under the blanket that Y/N had left there the night before.

Y/N spent the rest of the morning trying to avoid looking over at him as he stretched himself out on the couch, falling in and out of sleep. She ended up going to Diagon Alley by herself, wandering the street to find all the bits and pieces to finish off the potions and stopping into Flourish and Blotts to see if she could find any good books on defensive curses.

“Y/N?”

Y/N turned around quickly, surprised to bump into anyone on a Monday afternoon when all her friends had finished school and professors would be back at Hogwarts for the year. Remus was standing in front of her, holding a pile of about 10 different books and leaning backwards slightly under the weight of it all.

“Oh hey, Remus!” Y/N hadn’t spoken to him past saying hi at the bar for a few years, she wasn’t sure that she would have stopped him if she saw him here. Though to be fair, bookstores were her kryptonite and would have likely not noticed him at all, “How are you?”

“Yeah alright, I’m actually really glad I bumped into you though. We seemed to have lost Sirius – I’m sure he’s fine” He corrected, mistaking her uncomfortable expression with fear, “But you know, if you’ve heard from him at all…?”

“I uh haven’t… well I mean I saw him last we-yester,” Y/N gulped, really not wanting to lie to one of his best friends about his whereabouts when he’s probably worried sick.

“Y/N?”

“He’s at my place, sorry. I have no idea why he hasn’t said anything to you guys.”

“He’s at yours?” Remus smirked at her, his books moving a little as he clearly held back a laugh.

“Well yeah? He needed some potions for an injury… what!”

“You remember Lily, right?”

“Yes?”

“You know, his best friends’ wife and healer at St Mungo’s?”

“Oh.”

“Yep.”

Y/N bit her lip. She wasn’t 100% sure what this meant. If anything this just confirmed that Sirius really didn’t want to tell the boys what he got up to when they weren’t around.

“I mean, he did something really stupid he probably didn’t want to tell you all-“

“He’s been talking about you for about 2 months straight, Y/N, you can’t be that oblivious,” Remus teased, chuckling at her ever-reddening face. Remus was being an idiot, there was no way in hell she meant anything more to Sirius than a good friend. Or maybe he liiiiiikkes you.

“Oblivious to what! He’s the one who thought me liking him could be a prank,”

“Ok ok, well anyway can you tell him he’s a git for not telling anyone where he was for a week, and also stop messing you around,” He winked at her, nodding a goodbye seeing that he was carrying a years’ worth of reading materials. Y/N was rooted to the spot, her heart racing and stomach twisting over and over. Remus was just making fun of Sirius getting excited over a new friend, right? And anyway, it wouldn’t matter because she didn’t still like him, she had a crush on him years ago.

“Yeah, right, it wouldn’t matter.” Y/N muttered to herself, almost walking out of the store without paying. Y/N felt like she didn’t really remember how she got home, but eventually, she was placing the ingredients on the bench and fiddling with the pages of the book she had just gotten Sirius.

“Ah, the master of the house returns!” Sirius croaked from the couch, turning to face her with a sleepy smile on his face.

“Yes, I’m back, I found you a book as well. Though I got a defensive book instead of just plain old dark magic,” She put the book on the coffee table and sat next to it, “Did you take everything I left for you?”

“Yes of course,” Sirius laughed at her, sitting up so he could take the book off the counter, “You would have made a great healer.”

Y/N said nothing but continued to smile at him. Her head was still going round and round about her conversation with Remus.

“This book looks amazing by the way, Y/N, thanks!” He was already half-way through, looking at the different curses.

“Right yeah of course…”Y/N had begun chewing on her nails again, making Sirius look up and raise an eyebrow at her.

“You ok?”

“What? Oh, yes! I’m fine. No, I just bumped into Remus in Diagon Alley.”

“Ohhh,” Sirius put down the book, grimacing, “What did you say?”

“I may have told him you were here, I’m sorry I don’t really love the idea of your mates wandering around unsure about where you are,” Y/N smiled at him, hoping he wouldn’t hate that she gave him up.

“Ahh, no it’s fine.”

“Are you sure? Cause your face says otherwise.”

“No, I just, uh…” Sirius combed a nervous hand through his hair, looking away from her, “It’s nothing, it honestly is fine. They should know I’m safe and not dead.”

Sirius’ joke would have landed much better if his face wasn’t bright red and contorted into the look of someone who was extremely uncomfortable.

“Are you ok there?”

“Please ignore my traitor of a face,” Sirius barked a laugh, still not looking at her in the eye. Y/N was about to reply when she saw blood oozing from the bandage she had probably averagely placed the night before.

“Ok, I need to change that over, it’s going to get infected.”

Y/N busied herself with getting a new roll of bandages, finding herself standing in the bathroom staring at her reflection.

“Stop being ridiculous, Y/N, you’re going to make a fool of yourself,” She muttered to herself, subconsciously fixing her hair in the mirror. Or perhaps this is your chance? Don’t let your embarrassment get in the way of the stupidly cute boy who is blushing in your presence and is sitting on your couch.

Y/N tapped on the sink for a few more minutes before realising that she had probably taken a little too long just to grab new bandages.

“Sorry, couldn’t find them for a minute, lean back for a second,” Y/N gave a wide, and relatively fake, smile to Sirius, sitting back down on the coffee table and pushing it in towards him so she was close enough to pull the old one off his bare chest.

“This might hurt a little bit,” She said quietly, taking it off slowly. It was clinging to the skin, and Sirius gritted his teeth as she revealed the wound. The black edges were receding slightly, but the flesh underneath the wound was still open and the blood hadn’t begun to clot over it yet.

Whilst putting on the new bandage back on, she couldn’t help but notice how close her face was to his, how easy it would be to just lean in and kiss him.

“I -uh,” Y/N cleared her through, feeling like she was making this much more awkward than it needed to be.

“Yeah…” Sirius mumbled softly, their faces inches apart. Y/N could feel his breath on her skin, his heart beating steadily in his chest. He leaned in a little closer, moving incredibly slowly as if he was unsure, nervous, a side to him she didn’t really think existed.

And then his lips were on hers, Sirius softly pushing her closer to him with his hand on her shoulder blades. She felt like she was melting into the kiss, his stubble rubbing up against her cheek as he deepened the kissed, lifting his arm up towards her hair and running his nails through and pulling her head closer to his own.

Eventually, they pulled apart, both breathing heavily, resting their foreheads against each other.

“So, I need to confess something to you, Y/N,” Sirius mumbled grinning stupidly at her.

“Is that so?”

“I very much have a bit of a thing for you,”

Y/N lifted her head, turning to look around the room exaggeratedly.

“JAMES! I know you’re here somewhere you cheeky boy,” Y/N shook her head, grinning cheekily back at him as Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Did I ever tell you I was an idiot?”

“I think maybe you did, a little while ago.”

“Well hopefully I can maybe make it up to you, perhaps you wouldn’t hate going out for dinner with me sometime?” Sirius’ had pulled away, his grey eyes piercing her own as he bit his lip nervously.

“I definitely don’t think I would hate that.”


End file.
